Haircut
by Angel-chan Desu
Summary: Fem!America. Britain learns the hard way never to mess with America's cowlick. Oneshot. Dub format.


**[A/N] In case you just clicked onto this story because you didn't read the summary and simply saw who the characters were, lemmie emphasize; this story features a Fem!America and, despite it being my OTP, there is not a whiff of USUK in the story. Unless you want to interpret the actions taken by America in this story as denial, in which case, I won't stop you. :)**

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><p>It seemed like a pretty average day for the Allies. Apart from the fact that it was quiet. Too quiet. America and Britain weren't there. This made France, Russia and China curious.<p>

"I wonder where they could be," China said. As soon as the question was out of his mouth, they heard screaming.

"Leave me alone, you bloody psycho!" That would be Britain.

"No way! You're gonna freakin' pay!" And that would be America. Britain skidded past the door to the Allies' conference room, then hurried into it, darting under the table. Shortly afterwards appeared America. And boy, did she look pissed.

"Get out from under the damn table!" she shouted, banging against said item of furniture.

"Like hell I will!" came the defiant, yet frightened reply.

"What is the problem?" Russia asked, grabbing the girl's attention. France chuckled, "Yes, what did Britain do?" America pointed rather forcefully to her cowlick, her hand trembling slightly. It looked slightly shorter than usual.

"I go to that damn asshole for a haircut, and he goes and cuts my cowlick!"

"Oh, it's just hair! It'll grow back, so quit making such a fuss over it!" Britain shouted. America slammed her hand against the table the Brit was still hiding under and shouted, "It is not just hair, you stupid bastard!" And with that, America turned sharply on her heel and left the room, snapping over her shoulder, "I don't feel like having a meeting. I'm going home!"

"Is she gone?" a quiet voice asked. Everyone looked down as Britain crawled out from under the table, looking as though he'd just fought all wars he'd ever fought in those last few minutes. In other words, he looked like crap. China sighed.

"If there is no meeting today, then I am going home." Russia nodded.

"Likewise." He turned and smiled at Britain, his usual childish smile scaring the man.

"Good luck. You are going to be needing it." Britain paled considerably, then sighed as he fell into a chair. Then, France said something, which made him look up and go as white as a sheet.

"Something tells me," France smirked, "that you are going to 'ave to sleep with one eye open tonight, Britain." And with that, he got up and left the meeting room, leaving Britain alone to gather his thoughts.

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><p>That night, Britain made sure to lock all of his doors and windows. He even double checked all the locks and nearly went and boarded up his front door and bedroom windows due to paranoia. Thankfully, he didn't go that far. Eventually, after making sure he was locked up safely in his house, he settled down with a cup of tea to help his frazzled nerves.<p>

"I'll be fine now," he muttered to himself, holding the hot cup close to his face, "I mean there's no way she's going to come all the way over here in one night. And besides, even if she were coming here, it'd be morning by the time she got here. Yes, that's right." Relaxing, he fixed his posture in the chair he was sitting in and took a sip. Setting the cup down on its saucer and resting it on the coffee table, he picked up one of his magazines and began to read.

Unfortunately, not only was he so focused on his magazine and a rather thrilling article about one of the Queen's corgis, his mind was still trying to console himself about America, so he didn't even register the odd taste his tea had. Not even when he began to feel tired mere minutes after that first sip. He quickly drained the rest of the cup and headed up the stairs to his bedroom.

Unknown to him, a figure slipped out of one of his cupboards in the dark, empty kitchen. The figure snickered.

"He's so dense. And he's supposed to be older than me." The person, who seemed to be a girl due to their small stature and petite frame, tiptoed through the living room, up the stairs, and across the landing to Britain's room. She opened the door, not paying the loud creak it made any thought. She smirked.

"Heh, slip 'im a couple sleeping pills, and he is out like a light." She pulled something out of her pocket and plugged it into the socket next to Britain's bed. A faint buzzing could be heard as she said quietly, an evil look in her eye, "This is what you get for cutting my cowlick."

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><p>The next morning, all the nations were gathered in the conference hall for a world conference. At the moment, they were all in small groups, chatting about casual things and being careful to leave out important government secrets (Especially where idiots are concerned, they have to be extra careful not to accidentally spill any beans). Eventually, Germany called for the meeting to start.<p>

"Alright, everyone, sit down. We're getting started." Everyone was seated, and Germany was about to announce who was to start when they all heard the door open. Everyone gasped, some with shock, some with amusement (As they tried to keep themselves from laughing), and some with both (Actually, I lie, only a handful of nations gasped with shock).

"I'm so sorry I'm late! I slept in, and I thought I'd set my alarm and I had to grab breakfast on the way here and, I'm just, ugh," a very flustered Britain said hurriedly as he rushed to his seat, his suit a mess and papers sticking out of his briefcase. As the nation tried to sort himself out, several people started mumbling to each other. There were a few snickers here and there, but mostly, no-one out right laughed at the man.

For you see, literally half his head, eyebrow included, had been shaved completely bald.

"What the hell happened?" he heard Cuba mutter to what he thought was an empty seat next to him.

"Do you think he realises?" Austria asked Hungary. She shrugged them muttered, "Poor thing. Wonder who could've done it too him." Prussia snickered, "Any bets on him doing it to himself?" Britain sighed.

"Look," he said, looking at Germany, "just start the meeting already. I just need a few minutes to sort myself out." After a brief hesitation, Germany nodded. He cleared his throat and shouted out for Iceland to start the meeting. Once Britain finally got himself sorted, he set his suitcase on the ground beside him and sat down, trying to ignore everyone's whispers and looks.

He tried, instead, to pay attention to Iceland's news about his active volcano and the such, however, he soon found his eyesight wandering around the table...until the fell on a rather smug looking American. She sat with her feet on the desk, and a toothpick in her mouth. She raised one eyebrow as she smirked at him. Just as Britain was about to meet her smirk with a scowl of his own, Taiwan nudged his arm and handed him a piece of paper. Unfolding it, he growled as he read it.

"_Payback's a bitch, ain't it? That's what you get for messing with my cowlick. I could even it out for you."_ Confused, Britain lowered the paper and looked up at the girl to find her looking at him again with an innocent smile while holding an unplugged electric razor. This made the poor Brit go as white as a sheet...and then he fainted, surprising everyone. And then, this time, they all burst out laughing.

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><p><strong>Well, what did you all think? Was it good? I hope so.<strong>

**I really enjoyed doing this, and I hope you all really enjoyed reading this. :3 (I am currently abusing this emoti at the moment.)**

**BTW, about Fem!America, I never went into details about what she looked like. Because, I have my own version of Fem!America, however I didn't want to use her in case you guys preferred the official version or even your own version. So, a lack of description, I hope, made it easier to imagine whatever Fem!America you wish in this position. :3 (Told you.)**

**Well, this is me, signing off. Till next time! ;D**

**Angel-chan x :3 (For good measure.)**


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